in all the excitement, i've forgotten to write anything about the engagement.

yes. i am engaged.

!!!!!

it's a funny thing to sit here typing and see a diamond ring on my left finger. sometimes i don't recognize my own hands. but it's a beautiful, beautiful ring that reminds me of the wonderful relationship i get to be a part of and all the changes in my life that i get to look forward to. it also helps me remember that my life now, right in this moment, will not always be like this. it helps to remind me that the countdown of days left being the only child here at home with my parents is limited. it helps to remind me that i need to be kinder to my mother, more supportive of my father, and more peaceful of the distance between me and peter. this year or these years will slip by so quickly that i know i need to open myself up and soak it all in.

we discussed early adulthood in my human development class the other day and everyone was talking about their concerns with long-term, committed relationships. some were worried about letting people get too close to them, others were worried about experiencing the "escape" fantasy where they want to leave the person they are with and start a new life. still others were worried about "how do you know when this is the right person for you" question. as i sat there, trying to come up with something to say to contribute to the conversation, i could think of nothing. nothing besides, i've never felt that way.

now, maybe this is a bad thing. i imagine there are people who would argue that since i've never been in a serious relationship before this one, i've never experienced what it's like to get tired of someone. or perhaps they would say i was naiive and letting my heart speak instead of my head.

but i believe it is different than that. i believe that there is some greater meaning or purpose or reason for this engagement. oh we had talked about this, so i knew that i would be engaged before i started my second year of graduate school. but i had felt long ago that peter would be the person who i wanted to share my life with. i felt long ago a peace that i had never felt with anyone before, a confirmation that has proven to be one of the few stable things in my life, besides family, close friends, and my faith.

so i simply feel blessed that i don't have any escape fantasies, that i didn't have much anxiety surrounding my decision. i'm looking forward to spending more time in prayer, preparing my own heart for sharing my life with someone else.

i'm enjoying the celebration and am thankful for the congratulations and am brimming with excitement. i am so content with my life, so joyful.