maundy thursday

I have never been to service on Maundy Thursday before, but I skipped class so I could attend. It was such a beautiful, holy service. There was singing of hymns, including one of my favorites When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, a message, Bible readings, foot washing, and communion. I went alone, which initially felt weird since I hate doing things by myself, but it was a much more powerful experience to go sans anyone in my immediate family. Immediately, I felt welcomed by my church family and realized after all my pastor has been drilling into us for so many years - how important the church family is. Now, I am not an every Sunday go to church kind of gal, but I really felt a strong bond with my brothers and sisters in Christ there tonight. We sat around a table together and passed communion to one another and worshiped together. It was definitely a blessing in the midst of all my desperate dissertation writing and panic.

The foot washing was powerful and a very special part of the night. Peter and I have been thinking of doing this at our wedding, but have not quite figured out how it would look or if we really want to exclude everyone from the experience. It is humbling to have someone wash your feet, almost more difficult and awkward than washing someone else's feet. But the message was about sometimes we need to let Jesus heal us, come and wash our feet instead of always trying to go alone, or wash others' feet. It was an interesting thing to think about.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to worship our God in this way. The prayer ended with time to pray for those who have injured us in the way that Jesus prayed for everyone at the table, even those who were to betray him. It made me realize that I need to love the people who have wronged me in some way more than I am now. A quote that my previous pastor had recently was that "the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." Really hit me in the gut, especially recently when I've been thinking I'll just not care about mean people - better than letting them get to me and being mad at them, or hurt by them. Tonight has really given me new eyes to see how very wrong I have been.